” … I recently read, I forgot where, that gimmicky [drawing] methods, e.g. left-hand work, blind contours, upside down, etc, is a not legitimate way to produce a finished, repeat 'finished', work. Meaning I can understand it is a great practice skill sharpener. And yet, I would probably be willing to agree that unusual limiting techniques are a bit gimmicky for finished art. But yet, some of the great pieces of history appear exactly as though one were altering his or her usual perceptions and ability. So, how do you produce unusual art? Without gimmicks?” – Michael, Boston, MA

To which I responded:

Dear Michael:

I believe that you are referring to the Artists and Illustrators Code that was recently revised in the MMXXIV International Convocation of the Art and Creativity Authority (CACA) held in The Hague last November.

Section 73B, article 14 clearly states:

It goes on to stipulate:

“All drawings must be made in spiral-bound books clearly labeled on the cover as ‘Drawing Paper.'” They may be made only with a lead pencil, not to exceed 3H, and erasures must be neatly and completely done.

Any person or persons working with art materials must work only within the domains of their licensed class. To wit:

• Class 5. Doodlers: May only draw with a ballpoint pen on lined paper intended for class or meeting notes.
• Class 4. Incompetents: May not draw anything ever.
• Class 3. Sunday Painter: May only work within the confines of authorized painting and drawing classes in a local junior college, community center, retirement home or otherwise sanctioned facility and overseen by a bad-tempered and inattentive disillusioned Class 2 watercolorist.
• Class 2. Art School Graduate: Must have a completed certificate and must then have spent a minimum of five years working in an art-unrelated field: video store, coffee shop, falafel stand, ad agency. May not produce any art of any consequence ever again.
• Class 1. Genius: Must be represented by a major gallery, have been on the cover of Art Forum at least twice, and have been interviewed by 60 Minutes at least once. Must acknowledge and yet, in some cute and non-threatening way, challenge the current Art establishment. All works must sell for a minimum of five figures.

All works not adhering to these regulations may not be sold, framed, or enjoyed in any way, under penalty of law.”

I assume that all readers of this essay are aware of and operating within these internationally authorized rules. Failure to do so will result in immediate and humiliating expulsion from the community, as well as the confiscation of all art supplies.

Thanks for your continuing cooperation. These rules are made for the enjoyment and safety of all.

Your pal,

Danny
​

P.S. A reader recently asked me if I would consider teaching a course on making wonky art. Should I?

P.P.S. If you are in Phoenix, I look forward to meeting you at tomorrow's hangout at the Sculpture Garden!